


the rain is my heartbeat, the puddles my soul

by SiriusNebulae



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fantasy, M/M, Prompt Fic, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriusNebulae/pseuds/SiriusNebulae
Summary: "It was a strange curse. In the sunlight, we were enemies. Under grey skies, friends. Only in the pouring rain could we remember we were lovers."Deep Water Prompts No. 2085
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	the rain is my heartbeat, the puddles my soul

The first drops of rain were always the hardest.

The split second where all his memories came flooding back, as his heart finally began to beat again, as his lungs gasped out Nicolo's name like a prayer and salvation all in one. Cold drops of water brought him back to himself, brought him back to Nicolo, but it all came with the price of remembering. 

Remembering what it felt like to have Nicolo's warm blood under his hands, the weight of his sword as he swung at his love, the strength of the hatred burning in his blood. Only in the rain could they remember they were lovers, that they were destined and intertwined, that Yusuf would gladly die for this man. Only in the rain could they remember that they were not enemies at each other's throats, that there was something more worth living for. 

With the rain came the tears.

His heart breaking, the wrenching of his soul and the pain of his past actions. Even though they could never remember who they were to the other in the sunlight, it felt like dying with every death and pain he inflicted on his love. Sobbing, he would fall to the ground, would shatter inside and out, would curse himself and the world over and over for all it puts him through. For all it made him do to Nicolo. 

Dear, sweet Nicolo.

Nicolo who would never hurt him, who would never hurt anyone without good reason, having to have all he believed ripped away as hatred filled his body. Yusuf would see flashes of Nicolo's angry face, doused in sunshine, eyes shining brightly and barbed words falling from his lips. 

And to know that Nicolo remembered him in the same ways. Where only in the rain could they look at one another and think the other beautiful and themselves blessed by their presence. The gray, stormy skies the only time it felt like love truly existed.  
  
He hated the sunshine more than anything. Hated that it took Nicolo away from him, hated that it forced them to kill each other over and over again, hated that it took their memories away and only gave them back with violent additions that made him almost wish that maybe this time they would feel the rain on their skin and not have their memories come back, not know that their time was always limited, to fear the sunshine- that maybe they would be free to love each other beyond all meaning, unknowing of who they are, what they've done, only knowing that the man in front of them is their soulmate and all they feel is cold, refreshing feeling of utter devotion.

Even after all the centuries, he still couldn't decide if it was better to wake up alone or not. To break down with the weight of new memories in solitude where he did not have to see Nicolo in front of him, remembering the feel of his sword running him through, where they did not have the noticeable moments where seeing each other still registered as _enemy_ and not of _lover._

Waking up together, at least there was reassurance. At least they could hold each other tightly, weep together for all they had lost again, reassure themselves that they were together once again. (If they could ignore the blood, if they could ignore that moments ago they had been fighting and that one of them was waiting for the other to come back to life and they had to _feel_ every waking second of it, not with the far away neutrality, but with the fresh, terrible awareness that they had caused their lover's death.  
  
His favorite moments were when they were on the ground together, Nicolo resting on his chest as they watched the rain fall from the stormy skies. The feel of brisk rain drops pattering upon their skin, the warmth between the other as they gazed past the thunder and lightning rattling the world. 

When Nicolo would press soft kisses to his lips, would hold on tight because he knew how it felt when his mind slipped away from him- warm, small puffs of air between the press of their lips together, between the infinitesimal spaces between their bodies, between their clenched grips. Cold earth, wet and cloying mud, the feeling of water that would never leave his body, the cold that would never leave his bones. 

It was the best feeling in the world. 

It meant he had his Nicolo in his arms once more. That he knew what love was once more. That he could drown a thousand times and it would all be worth it to have Nicolo safe in his arms. 

If he had to describe what love felt like, he would say it felt like burning tears running down his face, it felt like the sky opening up and rain washing away the blood on his hands. It felt like the loud smashing of thunder, the bright flashing of lightning, the feel of the ground shaking beneath his feet. It felt like Nicolo's soft, warm lips against his, the feeling of Nicolo's hands grasping and pulling him close, like the need that choked him as he tried to hold Nicolo even closer. Love felt like the overwhelming sadness as the clouds began to clear, like the desperate final kisses scorched onto skin, like the mournful smiles and tears on their faces as their minds slipped away once more. 

Love felt like the familiar embrace of his final thoughts each time he began to forget his Nicolo: _He is the moon in the darkness; the sun cruelly robs him from me..._

_...I would know my enemy anywhere; hatred burns in my veins as his sword catches the light, as we begin again our fight under the scorching sun. We are destined for each other._


End file.
